Ask Lisa: How Can We Grow Spiritually as a Couple?

Thank you for stopping by today. This post is a part of the #RediscoverJesus blog tour hosted by Dynamic Catholic. Enjoy!

Q: I’ve been dating this girl for a while, and I’m looking for some ways that we can grow together spiritually. Outside of going to church and praying together, do you have any suggestions?

First off, bravo to you for wanting to grow in your faith as a couple! Your girlfriend is blessed to have a boyfriend who wants to help her grow closer to Jesus. Secondly, yes! Yes, I do have a few ideas for you.

1. Engage in a Catholic community together

This might sound odd at first, but if you want to grow spiritually as a couple, you need more than just each other to do it. You need an entire community to help inspire you along the way. I can think of countless spiritually enriching conversations that my husband, Kevin, and I have had as a result of attending a faith-related talk, Bible study, retreat, etc. either together or individually within our Catholic community. These intentional encounters within our community often spurred great conversations after the event had passed, giving us opportunities to grow spiritually as a couple.

2. Read great books

One of the greatest ways Kevin and I have grown in holiness together is by reading great books and discussing them. This was easy when we were studying theology together at Benedictine College, and now that practice has carried over into our marriage. Reading books together has always seemed to give us a great launching point for entering into deeper and more intentional conversations about faith and life, which in turn helps us to grow as a couple.

If you need a great place to start, I’d recommend picking up a copy of Matthew Kelly’s newest book, Rediscover Jesus. I’ve been a long-time fan of Kelly’s easy-to-read and quick-to-challenge books, and this one is no exception. It’s filled to the brim with timeless concepts and heart-piercing insights that snowballed into fantastic conversations between me and Kevin and a new resolution to deepen my relationship with Jesus in a fresh way.

3. Discover new ways of praying

The Catholic faith has a treasure trove of ways to pray. Maybe you know about the Divine Mercy Chaplet, but what about the dozens of other chaplets we have, like the Our Lady of Guadalupe Chaplet or the Most Holy Trinity Chaplet? Have you ever prayed the Litany of Humility? Perhaps, but what about the slew of other litanies such as the Litany for Priests, the Litany of Forgiveness, or the Litany of the Holy Angels? There are also hundreds of Marian prayers, novenas (prayers you pray for nine days straight), prayers asking for the intercession of saints, consecrations, and more that are just waiting to be discovered. As a couple, do some research and discover a few new ways you can pray together.

4. Serve together

If you want to grow in holiness as a couple, serve together as a couple. When we step outside of our selfish tendencies and give of ourselves to others, our eyes and hearts become open to Jesus among us. This kind of encounter with Christ cannot help but deepen your relationship with both Jesus and each other. If you are looking for some ideas on ways to serve, check out this post on 50 ways to perform the Corporal Works of Mercy.

I hope these ideas help you grow closer together as a couple as you discern God’s will for your relationship!

Be saints; it’s worth it!

Lisa Cotter
Lisa Cotter
Lisa Cotter is a Catholic speaker and author known for her practical insights on relationships, femininity, and living life with excellence. After serving as a FOCUS missionary family for over 10 years, Lisa and her husband Kevin Cotter have continued to share their passion for the Faith with Catholics all around the world. Lisa is the author of Reveal the Gift: Living the Feminine Genius and Dating Detox: 40 Days of Perfecting Love in an Imperfect World. Her work has been featured on Ascension Presents, the Hallow App, EWTN,, Steubenville Youth Conferences, and numerous other outlets. Lisa and Kevin live with their four children in Denver, CO, where Lisa is completing a Master’s in Theology from the Augustine Institute.

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